Assumption…Based On What?

What does it mean to assume or have an assumption about something? An assumption is something that you assume to be the case, even without proof.

A pet peeve I have is when some one assumes to know what’s going in someone’s life without asking. I love my best friend, but I would never assume she’s doing this or that. Not even sleep. After all, things change.

Someone assumed I was on medical leave again when they didn’t see me at Wal-Mart anymore. The reality is that I no longer work for the company. All that person had to do was ask. I don’t always follow the normal thing. Granted a large majority of the population sleeps at night. Still, one can never be 100% sure. After all we do have a graveyard shift.

Recently people tend to assume I’m so busy, or I’m having a bad day. The truth of the matter is that I wasn’t all that busy nor was I having a bad day. Just because YOU’RE busy or YOU’RE having a bad day, don’t project your feelings my way. Granted I do have a fairly full schedule, I make time for recreation. It may not be as much as before Covid or my knee surgeries, but I get it in. I do it without risking getting Covid again or taking it to my family.

It’s never the right thing to assume your family and/or friend is or isn’t anything. Just ask. It’s not that hard. When you make those assumptions you make yourself look foolish. So take a moment to ask next time. They may just surprise you.

Life Changing Moment

We all typically have moments in our lives that define which road we are going to take. Sometimes we make the choice on our own or we may have help that’s out of our control.

I had to look back in my past hard to find a time that I found to be a life changing moment. I found a time when I hated life so bad I wanted to end my life. Even then it was more me just disappearing and not letting anyone know where I was. I can remember it very clearly. My Literary husband reminds me that my writing alter ego at that time was “Babydoll”. Babydoll was a bit rough, even a lil thuggish.

Back then I was filled with so much anger. Arguments with parents, a short lived wicked marriage, and scandalous so called friends was my life. I had some great friends along the way. Finances were a mess. I was at the point that I just didn’t care. If I died I felt no one would even miss me. Knew I could end it then. Had the tools and the means. That was my one split second I wanted to end my life. However that really didn’t get past the 5 minute mark. Still, I did think long and hard on just getting ghost and leaving. Just start over where I knew no one. I had got to the point where I was choosing locations and everything.

Then I stopped and thought about it again. Even if they wouldn’t miss me, I’d miss my family. Couldn’t see me missing my niece grow up. Now I have a nephew I wouldn’t even know about. If something had happened to my parents or sisters and I wasn’t there I’m pretty sure I’d have a ton of regrets. That’s something I never want. So I made a decision after careful prayer. I will make things work for me. I made some life changing decisions. Changed my association drastically. I focused more on me and making me happy. Put a lot more focus on my careers and enjoying my family. Got rid of dead weight that wasn’t serving a purpose except holding me back.

Now here I am in 2022 enjoying my life. Don’t misunderstand me. I still had ups and downs, but that’s all a part of life. I’ve seen my niece and nephew grow up. They continue to impress me. Any time with them lightens up my day. I’ve experienced life and throughly enjoyed most of it. Meet some awesome people over the years, and made some great friendships. I’m very glad I didn’t end my life or disappear.

We all have those life changing moments. It’s how we deal with them that define who are and where we are headed.

“Back To Square One” (poem)

Back To Square One

Today
I returned
Back to square one
I gave my all
For what I ask
Nothing
I tried
And tried
To be that special person
All while remaining
Authentic
True to self
Still got slapped in the face
But
I stood up
Then tried again
What’s happens next
Get slapped on the other side
Even still I tried
Tried to give the benefit of doubt
Does he not know
Is he clueless
Or just don’t care
Now I don’t care
I refuse to push further
Refuse to get punched
No need for more torture
We all know what’s next
I’ve come to my senses
He’ll never get a clue
Never will be understand
You know what
I’m okay with that
So
Here I stand
Back at one

Quiet Storm ⚡ January 2022

2021 Year In Review

Year In Review

As 2022 picks up I begin to do my yearly reflection. The ups and downs, the changes, struggles and all. It was a pretty good year through it all. Sometimes while in the various situations it might not have looked like it.

I started the year out with Covid. Was out and quarantined for about a month. Thankfully no hospital or medication needed. Other than I’m on an inhaler now for as needed use I’ve recovered fairly well. I don’t know about y’all but I was surprised we entered a second year in the pandemic. I’m even more shocked we are quickly approaching a third year.

I’ve learned that while a lot of things change over time, others stay the same. Each has its own pros and cons.  For the most part I embrace change, especially when it’s for the good. Most of the changes I went through during the great were positive changes. Even the ones that were not so positive I learned a lot from them.

I left a toxic job with Wal-Mart. That’s an entire different topic of discussion.  I did find an awesome work from home job.  I’ve been at my job for about ten months now. Yes, I clown sometimes about how slow some of them are, have a few rough days here and there. Nothing is perfect.

During this time I’ve learned so much and have been able to support a number of companies. There are many advantages and disadvantages you working from home. For me, the pros outweigh the cons.

My circle one friends have gotten smaller. The ones that I’ve retained I’ve grown closer to. We have an understanding and respect the differences of each other. We support each other endeavors, ups and downs and just being there for each other.

Even though my travel was limited because of my new job, I did a number of virtual tours that were amazing. I hate I didn’t go to Utah to see my friends there, but my best friend did make a trip here to pick up a new puppy. Now my question is, do I want a summer visit out or an end of the year visit for New Year’s.

This year will be all about planning a move, planning a visit to see my sister and my best friend. I will be focusing on growing my business and trying to do an encore fashion show for October for Breast Cancer awareness month!

I do have a few challenges in place for this year too. There’s a few I’ll be doing for my business of course. Complete my 365 days of reading on April 20th. I started the year at 256. Whew!

So there you have it. A reflection of 2021 and a look ahead at 2022. What are some of your plans for 2022?

I Want (poem)

I want to be your woman
Not just your girlfriend
I want to build with you
Not just hang out with you
Going nowhere fast
Reminiscing about the yester-years
I want to move towards a future
Something bright and cheerful
Discover who we’ll be tomorrow
Not who we were then
After all we lived that already
Don’t get me wrong
Those were good times
Learned and lived to see another day
Those past experiences
Were a staple in the education of life
Now I want to take the past
And take the present
To create an amazing future
And discover the art of love
I want you
Yet
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I won’t wait to step into my future
The question remains
Will you be with me
Or left behind

Quiet Storm ⚡ December 2021

A-Z (Fun)

A-Z

This was originally done to see how much I’ve changed since this was originally done in 2009. I was surprised.

Here we go:

A – Age: 45

B – Bed size: Queen

C – Chore you hate: Ironing

D – Dad’s Name: L****

E – Essential start your day item: Prayer

F – Favorite food: Italian

G – Gold or Silver: Sliver or Gunmetal

H – Height: 5’8″

I – Instruments you play(ed): none, tried learning the drums

J – Job title: CEO, Licensed Insurance Agent

K – Kid(s): none

L – Living arrangements: rent

M – Moms name : E****

N – Nicknames: ‘Shawn, M-Squared, Boss Lady

O – Overnight hospital stay: a few

P – Pet Peeve: Lies and disrespect

Q – Quotes you like: “Show no fear, look directly in the eye” will always be a favorite.

R – Right or left handed: Right

S – Siblings: 2 sisters, 3 if you count my best friend

T – Time you wake up: Depends on what’s going on

V – Vegetable you dislike: peas (really most of them)

W – Ways you run late: sidetracked with business ideas, reading

X-rays you’ve had: Whom, where to start…..

Y – Yummy food you make: Spaghetti is always a favorite. Ranch Crockpot Pork chops or chicken

Z – Zodiac: Sagittarius

The Pandemic Years

Pandemic Years

These 3 years of pandemic have taught me so much about myself and others. We always talk about getting rid of the leaves and dead branches in our lives. I’ve learned that sometimes we have re-plant the entire tree to get better roots and better results. This I’m just realizing. It was a light bulb moment for sure.  The tree was kind of like in a bucket and not growing. Now it’s being planted near other viable plants to help it grow.

As the year ended I reflected on not just this past year but also the past few years. It was like removing toxic blinders. Or better yet, I stopped taking the blue pill. I saw things how they really were. Doing that, you sometimes create an amazing hybrid.

I know some of the events I caused or even allowed to happen. I have this habit of giving people multiple chances thinking they will change, yet knowing they wouldn’t.

There’s no time like the present to make changes and fix the situation. As each year begins I see and hear the same thing. “I’m going to cut them off at me beginning of the year.”

First, why wait? Do it now. Sometimes I understand it maybe fear causing person to wait. My thought on that is, they didn’t wait until the beginning of the year to become toxic. Occasionally you may care just a bit too much or have attachment concerns.

Second do you clean your house once a year? Or do you do it often throughout the year? Negative behavior doesn’t get rewarded with ice cream and candy.

The beginning of the pandemic started right after going back to work following my surgery. I was already fed up by that point and started cutting people off. However, it wasn’t a year in that I realized I needed to make more drastic changes. Crazy that it took me getting focus to see that. Now I see one of my “roots” is deadly and needs to neutered and neutralized before causing more harm.

I love my family and close friends. Still I understand not everyone can continue on the journey with me. You know what? I’m okay with that. After all, everyone isn’t supposed to be there for a lifetime. Just as when someone falls asleep in death, we learn to move forward. This emotional death is no different, I will move forward. New roots are being planted each and everyday.

Virtual Training

Wal-Mart Training (via zoom) vs Work From Home Training

Wal-Mart:
°Knows how to stay muted
°Understands the concept of raising hands
°Understands the concept of not speaking over one another
°Always being interrupted by conversations
°Bosses want you to stay and work AFTER class
°Have to drive home after class

Work From Home:
°Don’t typically have a uniform
°Mostly uninterrupted and quiet training atmosphere
°Once class is done for the day, you’re done
°Don’t have to fight traffic
°Smaller chance of getting covid
°A lot of waiting for others to catchup
°A lot of repeated basic questions
°Many don’t understand basic tech and computer information
°Able to lay in the bed right after clocking out and on breaks
°°°°°°°PRICELESS…….

Post Covid…1 Year Later

It’s been almost two years since we’ve been in the Covid pandemic. I got Covid around Christmas 2020. That’s when I started having symptoms. I went to the urgent care two days later.

Here I am almost one year post Covid. When I say post Covid I’m referring to when I personally had Covid. It’s been an experience recovering from Covid during this year. I have what they call long Covid. While most of effects from Covid went away, there are a few I still dearth l deal with.

One of the biggest things is my respiratory issue. Doctor said my lungs look okay. Still, if I try to walk to fast or too long, or too much cardio exercise, I’m extremely winded. It has gotten a lot better since I try to do more walking cardio at home. What’s crazy is I didn’t exhibit any respiratory issues when I had Covid. It wasn’t until I went back to work. At the time I was working at Wal-Mart in a supervisory role. At first I thought it was because I was out of work for month. It didn’t get better. So my gave me two inhalers.

For those three months I made sure one was on me at all times and was using it fairly regular. I was still able to get 10,000 – 12,000 steps a day. Still this was too much. Now that I work from home and do short walking cardio I feel better. I still need to use or sometimes, but not nearly as much.

The other issue I still get is those powerful migraine like headaches. Those I did have a lot with Covid and the first few months after. Now a year later, I get them, but not as often. I can tell the difference from a regular headache and that Covid headache.

Even with all these issues I’m still grateful it wasn’t worse. With Covid still out there, I try to make I’m protected so I can protect my family. While it’s still possible to Covid, I hope I don’t. Granted I don’t go to many places already, but I don’t want to be forced to quarantine again if I don’t have to.

Have you had Covid? How long ago was it? How are you recovering or recovered? I want to hear from you.