50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know… Week 13

WEEK 13

“TALKING AND LISTENING TO OTHERS”

*****The book actually has ‘adults’ instead of ‘others’.  However, I believe it fits for EVERYONE!

 

YOU DO:

Stop texting on your phone, typing on the computer, or watching television when others want to speak with you.

YOU DON’T:

Make a show of being irritated at the interruption, or act as if you are impatient to get back to what you were doing.

WHY:

There are distractions all around us, but the one in front of you (parent, sibling, teacher…etc) should not have to vie with a friend you saw an hour ago at school or with reruns of “Gilmore Girls” for 5 minutes of your time.  It is hurtful to feel that you are not worthy of someone’s undivided attention.

YOU DO:

Politely ask them if their question can wait two more minutes for the outcome of the tie-breaking tennis match, or until you finish your train of though on the paper you’re writing.

YOU DON’T:

Put your hand up in front of them face, or wave them away like an annoying fly.

WHY:

Either of those things is guaranteed to provoke an angry response, which will not get you the minutes you’ve requested.

YOU DO:

Initiate conversations with others in your life.

YOU DON’T:

Spend all your time “conversing” on the computer with friends and strangers or secluded in your bedroom.

WHY:

As you’re getting older, so are your parents, grandparents and others in your life, and it’s important to make the most of the time we have with the people we love.

 

• A lady makes eye contact and is engaged with the person she is conversing with.
• A lady knows that asking people questions about themselves is the surest way to be considered a good conversationalist.
• A lady keeps up with current events and popular culture, at least enough to learn the art of small talk.

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50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know… Week 12

WEEK 12

BORROWING CLOTHES:

YOU DO:

Ask before borrowing an article of clothing, pair of boots, or piece of jewelry from a friend, a sister, or your mom.

YOU DON’T:

Take something thinking they won’t mind or that you’ll get it back before they notice.

WHY:

Borrowing something without asking is almost like stealing and you would never do that.  Besides, you are bound to run into that person you “borrowed” the plaid skirt from while you are wearing it.

YOU DO:

Understand the boundaries for what is acceptable to borrow.

YOU DON’T:

Borrow underwear, makeup, hairbrushes, or anything with the tags still on it.

WHY:

Borrowing underwear is far too intimate, even for sisters.  Sharing makeup or hairbrushes may result in sharing far more than you bargained for.  The first person to wear a new article of clothing should always be the person who owns it.

YOU DO:

Return the item of clothing cleaned, wrinkle-free, folded, or on an hanger.

YOU DON’T:

Return a dirty shirt, a knotted necklace, or mud spattered shoes.

WHY:

Being a responsible borrower is as important as being a courteous house guest.  You are a temporary caretaker of someone else’s property.

YOU DO:

Return what you borrowed in a timely fashion.

YOU DON’T:

Wait until the person you borrowed something from has to come and retrieve it.

WHY:

Borrowing is a temporary lease, not a permanent trade or purchase.

 

• A lady does not borrow something that she knows is too small for her.
• A lady launders or dry-cleans clothing that she borrows before returning it.
• A lady replaces something she borrows with the identical item is she stains, tears, or otherwise makes the item unwearable.  If that is not possible, she offers to reimburse her friend with cash for the ruined item.

50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know…Week 11

WEEK 11

ASKING FOR A FAVOR

YOU DO:

Ask for a favor only when you’re in a pinch and really need it.

YOU DON’T:

Ask for favors over and over from the same person.

WHY:

The person you keep asking will understandably begin to avoid you.

YOU DO:

Acknowledge the favor you have received.

YOU DON’T:

Word travels among friends and you don’t want to get a reputation as a user.

 

• A lady says “thank you” when her brother agrees to cover dog-walking duty that day, and again after he does it.
• A lady offers to reciprocate a favor, telling her brother, for example, that if he walks the dog for her, she will cover one of his chores.
• A lady gets someone who does a big favor for her a small token of appreciation.

50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know… Week 10

WEEK 10

ASKING PERMISSION:

YOU DO:

Ask permission to use your mom’s laptop, borrow your friend’s French-English dictionary, ride your bike to the ballpark, or stay out past your curfew.

YOU DON’T:

Assume it’s okay to do any of those things because you’re not 9 years old anymore, or because you’ve done them before.

WHY:

Each time you use something that belongs to someone else or do something out of the ordinary, you ask permission.

YOU DO:

Offer an explanation of why you need to use your mom’s laptop or stay out past your curfew.

YOU DON’T:

Ask for permission without being prepared for a follow-up question and response.

WHY:

Your mom might need to use her laptop herself, but if you tell her there’s a program you need on the laptop for a paper you’re writing and you promise to give it back in one hour, she’ll probably say yes.

YOU DO:

Accept no as a final answer when it’s clear that’s what the answer is going to be.

YOU DON’T:

Whine, cry, stomp your foot, and accuse your parents or friends of always saying no, being totally unfair and hating you.

WHY:

Accepting no for an answer with maturity will impress your parents so much that they are far more likely to say yes the next time.  If you sense yourself getting upset, you might want to go to your room, or outside to cool down.  If it helps, you can yell into your pillow.

 

• A lady never uses or borrows something that belongs to someone else without asking permission.  No exceptions.
• A lady doesn’t change the radio station in the car some one else is driving without asking permission.
• A lady doesn’t stay out past curfew or go to a different place than she told her parents she was going without asking permission first.

50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know… Week 9

WEEK 9

“ACCEPTING AN APOLOGY”

YOU DO:

Say “that’s okay” when someone apologizes to you.

YOU DON’T:

Have to immediately give them a hug and act as if nothing happened.

WHY:

You have a right to feel hurt or angry when someone does something careless or hurtful.  Sometimes it helps to take a little breather after the apology is offered and accepted.

YOU DO:

Say “I appreciate your apology” when someone apologizes to you.

YOU DON’T:

Say, “I appreciate your apology…but you are really a jerk/you should have been more careful/you really made me feel terrible…don’t do it again.”

WHY:

Replying to an apology with a qualifier is not really accepting an apology.

YOU DO:

Forgive someone when they have done something careless or hurtful to you.

YOU DON’T:

Forget it if they do the same thing over and over.

WHY:

Being a lady doesn’t mean allowing people to take advantage of you and your good nature.  If the same thing happens more than once, it’s time to sit down and talk it over.

 

• A lady accepts an apology without conditions.
• A lady does not keep reminding her brother, her friend, or her mother of their transgression once the apology is accepted.
• A lady knows how to forgive and in time, forget.
• A lady does not hold a grudge.

50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know… Week 8

WEEK 8

“MAKING AN APOLOGY”

YOU DO:

Say “I’m sorry” without adding a “but”.

YOU DON’T:

Say, “I’m sorry I knocked into the table and broke your favorite piece of pottery, but you should have put it on a higher shelf if you liked it so much.”  You day say, “I’m sorry I didn’t include you with the others, but I was in a hurry.”  You don’t say, “I’m sorry I forgot to let the dog out, but I wanted to watch the end of the show and he should have let me know he needed to go out.”

WHY:

Adding an excuse to what you did or didn’t do means you are not taking responsibility for your actions, and that makes your apology pretty worthless.

YOU DO:

Say I’m sorry and_____” if you need to say more than “I’m Sorry” to make the situation right.  “I’m sorry I was careless and broke the bowl.  Can I help buy a new one?”

YOU DON’T:

Assume that “I’m sorry” is always enough to make amends.
WHY:

Because sometimes you need to back your words up with action.

• A lady doesn’t delay her apology hoping the situation will just go away.  It won’t, and the sooner you say “I’m sorry,” the sooner everyone feels better.
• A lady doesn’t expect to be rewarded for saying “I’m Sorry” but is grateful when her apology is graciously accepted.
• A lady doesn’t assume an apology is the end of the situation, but she understands it’s the first step toward making things right.

50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know… Week 7

WEEK 7

“ACCEPTING A COMPLIMENT”

YOU DO:

Say “thank you” when your friend tells you how cute your hair looks in a ponytail.

YOU DON’T:

Say, “That’s because I haven’t washed it in four days!”

WHY:

No needs to know your personal hygiene habits, and the appropriate response is “thank you.”

YOU DO:

Say “Thank you” when your teacher tells you proud she is of your effort on your personal essay.

YOU DON’T:

Say, “Really?  I wrote it on the bus on the way to school this morning.”

WHY:

Even if you did get away with such little effort on that assignment, do you really want to make your teacher feel foolish?  The appropriate response is “thank you.”

YOU DO:

Say “thank you” when your mother’s friend tell you how much she likes your charcoal sketch in the school art show.

YOU DON’T:

Say, “That Piece?  It’s not very good.”

WHY:

When someone compliments your accomplishments, it is rude to suggest that they have no idea what they’re talking about.  Even if in your heart you believe you could have done better, the appropriate response is “thank you.”

 

• A lady knows that accepting a compliment graciously is as important as giving a compliment sincerely, and she endeavors to do both.

50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know… Week 6

Week 6….

“Paying A Compliment”

YOU DO:

Tell someone when you think she or he has done something really well, or when she looks really pretty, or when his jacket is really cool.

YOU DON’T:

Keep those thoughts to yourself, even if you’re shy or don’t know the person that well.  The opportunity will pass, and then you’ll wish you had taken it.

WHY: 

It is never wrong or incorrect say something nice to someone.

YOU DO:

Pay compliments with sincerity and only when you mean it.

YOU DON’T:

Say something nice just to have something to say.

WHY:

If you tell your friend every time you see her that she looks fantastic, she’s to stop believing you.  Nobody, not even a supermodel, looks fantastic all the time.

 

• A lady is not stingy with her compliments.

• A lady does not exaggerate her compliments.
• A lady is genuine in her compliments.

50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know…Week 5

WEEK 5…..

MAKING INTRODUCTIONS

YOU DO:

Include something personal about a friend you are introducing to your parents like “Mom this is Tiffany. She moved here from Germany last year.”

YOU DON’T:

Just say “Mom, this is Tiffany.”

Why:

Because knowing a little something about your friend gives your parents an opening to get to know your friend a little better, which is reassuring for parents.

YOU DO:

Introduce a newcomer to a group of people she/he doesn’t know, even if you don’t know everyone’s name in the group. You can simply say, “Everyone this is Carrie. We went to elementary school together.

YOU DON’T:

Say hello to the newcomer, then resume your conversation with your other friends.

Why:

Not being introduced makes a person feel invisible and unimportant, and no one wants to make anyone feel that way.

• A lady always introduces the younger person to the older person. “Grandma, this is Elizabeth.” Not, “Elizabeth, this is my grandmother.”
• A lady can introduce herself to someone by saying her own name first. “Hello I’m Jana Jones.” Ideally, the other person will reply, “Hello, I’m Hannah Rogers.”